i lie awake and low, thinking of loved muted minds trapped in acts of noxious ins and outs; another sip, another shot of that toxin please, as we drink to health, to wild wild mental wealth. bodies creaking under the weight of entwined scents, all mixes into one in a mute collision, to rise and evaporate, a heavy, brutal cloud; the air shivers as it groans. you pierce through these bones so easily as they melt under your touch; gaze ablaze but turned away; ribcage spasms in the unripe night. i'm on a different trip these days, he says, and dances away blindfolded because the light's too bright and all's too much. withdrawal coursing through the blood, a boiling shiver. the need to walk away because your music is louder than mine but i still need mine to be heard, and so i burn all the future pictures i took of you, and inhale the smoke to feed the addiction in my lungs. the next morning smoke an old feeling, with a childhood scent to it. used wine glasses and rolls of undeveloped film sitting on my table looking like the empty promises they contain, the past full of smiles that never last but felt so good at times, and the grimaces now will look beautiful one day too, maybe.

hops from sunset to sunset; in between, an old dream of freedom and a numb face flattenend by the dusty winds. dust everywhere, im biting on it, its in the air, hanging lazily, blurring vision, blocking lungs, ready to catch a spark and throw everything back at us in a silly, silly, cheerful explosion. get drenched; it's easy to miss everything if the world is big and blurred by the sun, and little details scream at you for attention. give them space, for now, and feel again when all returns.

you should have seen this when you were still high