and then you see these photos and you're like, how can it be that this exists out there somewhere and i don't even know of it and have no connection to anything like it and then you see these other photos and you're like, this doesn't feel real, there's feelings embedded in there that i don't understand, but none of that is true, it's just that you're too old to appreciate potential, too young to take pride in your past, too normal to be happy, so all you do is stare at maps and maps and roads and more maps to let your head spin, but really, where are you going